Battleground: Morley Field
Weapon: Disc
Combatants: Six Man Challengers and every pot smoking 27 year old from Chula Vista to Oceanside.
If you don't like stories where evil triumphs over good then I encourage you to stop reading. If you're of the mindset that the better man gets what he deserves in the end then you are going to be sorely disappointed in this story. This is not that type of tale. Imagine if you will that Darth Vader actually let the Emperor kill Luke or that Frodo got to the edge of Mount Doom and instead of throwing the ring in he says, "F#$ it!" puts it on and becomes the most awesome evil Lord ever. It's like Braveheart where you're completely pissed that Mel Gibson is getting his guts ripped out and his boys don't do shit about it. Even yelling "Freedom" doesn't save this story I'm about to revel you with.
Six men lined up on May 7, 2011 on Morley Field in Balboa Park to compete in the world's oldest and most revered weed smoking sport this side of Halo. Frisbee Golf, a game of skill, blind luck and hand strength (strong fingers and a quick wrist snap or what Sean's girlfriend likes to call the masturbation muscles).
Six men and one to rule them all. What a sad day when that man turned out to be Jantz.
Now don't get me wrong. Jantz winning is not in and of itself the worst thing in the world. Burning to death is, but Jantz winning is a close second.
Going into the turn Jantz was in a three way tie with Bing and of course Couls (who seemingly sold his soul to Lucifer prior to this year's man challenge) at 31. A close second was reigning Frisbee Champ zVirus at 32 and Sean and Johnson trailing by 3 and 5 respectively. After a terrible bogey on 10 and a double on 15, Jantz's hopes had all but dwindled to nothing, when out of nowhere he birdies 17 to put it out of reach of a fading Couls and a surging Klemo. Bing's back 10, notably double bogeys on 15 and 18 offset his strong front 9 and left him with a stomach turning fourth place after being in contention all day. Johnson and Sean never had a chance trailing the entire way. Jantz' walk down the 19th fairway was reminiscent of Hitler's march on Paris or the Bataan Death March of 1942...nobody's happy about it. Even his score of 66 was one digit away from pure evil.
It was the anti-Rudy tale. It was Johnny sweeping the leg and Ralph Macchio NOT getting up to whip his ass with a sweet Crane Kick. It's Charlie Conway missing the penalty shot and Gordon Bombay spiraling down into an alcoholic haze a la Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. Sorry boys and girls if you've stuck with this fairy tale gone wrong. Evil wins this time, but I'm holding out for the sequel.
Last year a 70 won the whole thing and there was a three way tie for second at 72. So if you're trying to figure where you stand Pete, it would have been tied with Bing for a second straight year in fourth instead of second. Notably Jantz had 100% less practice this year and shot 6 strokes better. Allen Iverson says, "Practice???" who needs it?
Golf Scores:
Jantz 66
Couls 68
Zach 69
Bing 72
Sean 75
Johnson 77
Up next Shuffleboard and Darts...
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